Becoming a writer – a reiteration of desire

How to Speak Chav (Essex)

Posted in Daily life, London by lenina on November 7, 2006

I just had to LOL today when coming across this little example of how to speak Essex:

“alma chizzit - A request to find the cost of an item.”

–> (Guess what it means)

17 comments

17 Responses

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  1. anaj said, on November 8, 2006 at 7:37 pm

    How much is it?

    Btw, what was that dictionary called that you used recently to explain this term? (chav) Dictionary of Urban languague?

    Reply
  2. lenina said, on November 8, 2006 at 7:42 pm

    for UK slang I’d use http://www.peevish.co.uk/slang/ – this has all the puerile stuff (t*ts and a*se)
    http://www.urbandictionary.com/ is more AE-based but also has a lot of BE expression.
    I don’t know where I looked up the definition of chav – maybe Wikipedia?
    Peevish defines it as follows:
    Noun. A person, usually of poorly educated, working class origin, who dresses casually in designer sportswear and vulgar jewellery. Chavs are generally viewed as an ignorant under-class with a propensity for criminal or loutish behaviour. Usually derog. [Orig. South-west. Popular from early 2000s]

    edit: ‘How much is it?’ is correct :D

    Reply
  3. Chav-a-licious yeaaaaaaaaaaaah babyyyy said, on December 26, 2006 at 7:09 pm

    yo sup im a chav innit don b dissn me mate al get me ma on yer … yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo lets bounce diggin it homie hahaha im not a chav really but they are cooooooooooooooooool i wana b a chav, sup nigga? choolookinat ? flooor it ayeeeeeee

    Reply
  4. MILLIELICIOUS 2K7 YIP YIP YEO said, on October 30, 2007 at 1:34 pm

    WTF YE DOIN M8 LABBERIN BOUT CHAVS ND MILLIES

    UZ CUZ WE R CHAVS DNT EAN NAFIN

    N EM JOCKS R WELL DA WORST

    WAT A GURL CHAV WER ON ER WEDDIN DAY A WHITE TRACKIE

    EY NAT WAT E WER

    :L YEOO NOT REALLY A CHAV =]

    Reply
  5. Dawn said, on December 29, 2007 at 8:08 pm

    LOL @ that comment.
    I’ve read it 10 times and I still don’t understand a word of it.
    It’s something called standard english
    Eever heard of it?
    Thought not.
    Well maybe you should try using it once in a while. really helps.

    Reply
  6. titch said, on April 11, 2008 at 5:21 pm

    I have never found after 30 years of living in Sarrfend (Southend-on-Sea), anybody who speaks like this.
    I have also never met a ’sharon’ or ‘tracey’ whilst clubbing.

    Are people from outside Essex really that ignorant that they believe this junk?

    Reply
  7. Lawrah innit said, on October 29, 2008 at 7:24 pm

    ITEE im from essex ! lolzz ma main peeps from essex yehh… we all speek lyk diss so yanoo we mus b lyk freeks to ya or summit yh coz im leavin a repli coz we well gangstaa ere in essex livin it arge like the wiked peeps we are innit brap! bye BLUDDX p.s- ite Ba?

    Reply
  8. Mike said, on January 6, 2009 at 11:08 pm

    Alright bluds. I is like well chavvy innit, cos you see, I is gunna like shank ya one wid ms shank, cos I is like well ard.

    And that would be pretty much all one can muster. You see, here in the great county of Surrey, just south on London, England (for those intellesctually challenged ones) we speak the Queen’s English, as it should be spoken by all. One would also to add that to shank (to stab) someone is an incomprehensively ghastly thing to do. There is a reason why it is illeagal to carry a knife with a blade of 3″ or more and to carry a firearm in the U.K.

    Reply
  9. Mikey said, on January 6, 2009 at 11:10 pm

    Maybe my views are a bit strong for one of only 14, but it would be down to the manor that one was brought up in.

    Isn’t it, blud xx

    Reply
  10. Reactions to ‘How to Get Rid of Your Father’ - Blog post « lenina 3.0 said, on January 7, 2009 at 8:13 am

    [...] 2009 by lenina Some of my posts infrequently get comments by random people, most noteably, ‘How to speak Chav‘ and, ‘How to get rid of your father‘. This points of course to the way people [...]

    Reply
  11. Sam picket said, on March 2, 2009 at 10:43 am

    proper standard innit blud

    now get out ma way, yo jus a pusshole

    hu is you chatting to blud

    brap

    x

    Reply
  12. becaii said, on March 27, 2009 at 10:17 pm

    ite
    wats all crack about dissin chavs blud ?
    is there out rong wiff us nahhh dint fink soo yeaa
    cinabitt

    Reply
  13. internet walkers init, said, on April 26, 2009 at 5:59 pm

    safeeee bled,
    i is like well bored init,
    u suckers dnt no nuffin bout chavs,
    wiv all ur fuckin bodman talk,
    wot r u chattin?
    bizzle

    Reply
  14. matt init blad said, on April 27, 2009 at 4:53 pm

    Yea u dissin me blad bcoz we chavs will rule da world sum day init!

    Reply
  15. Eleisha said, on May 24, 2009 at 9:17 am

    WTF blud.

    Uze cnt be dissin us coz da way we spit our words init..

    You pusioles ain’t got nufink on us lyke.

    Fink uz r tuff?

    I LOVE CHAV TAALKK!!!!!!

    Reply
  16. Jodie;) said, on August 10, 2009 at 12:15 pm

    ohh dear peeps, your all trying bare to had to act all ard guys. give up ppl.

    xx
    jodie
    xx

    Reply
  17. Danielle said, on August 17, 2009 at 3:58 am

    All you ‘Chavs’ are idiots. You look and sound ridiculous. With your knock off Burberry, and hot ass track suits! Gotta get some priorities eventually now.

    Reply

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