lenina is feeling restless

I’ve been feeling restless this week, and quite agitated. I think it’s to do with the fact that I haven’t had any exercise since I got my new car, and now it’s catching up with me. I’m quite highly strung anyway, and always full of thoughts (too many!), analysing things, and generally overly productive (I [...]

Brad’s Mum Takes it Up The Arse

She does! Apparently. Note the apostrophe below is correct! Bright kids around here

Avoiding the Man with the Dog

Since I now always go to work at roughly the same time, and our estate has quite a good community (i.e. you talk to your neighbours when you see them), I’ve noticed little things that happen every day.
The girl downstairs (who’s probably about 13 by now) is picked up by two other girls at roughly [...]

lenina goes to a Strip Bar

Yesterday, after our Valentine’s meal in an Italian restaurant, we went to see our chav neighbour J. who we love, and who recently landed a full-time job as bouncer for a strip club. J., who left school at 12 and can’t read or write properly (well he can, i.e. he’s not dyslexic, but leaving school [...]

Falling Back into Scottish English

Over the last few days, I’ve been going back to using some variants of Scottish English. It’s not a lot, but it happens subconsciously due to being exposed to Scottish English instead of its standard English variants.
A few examples:
- today, I phoned the council to enquire about a letter they had sent me regarding some [...]

Two Girls One Cup vs. Veronica Moser

I watched 2G1C today and I found it rather harmless. This is because someone told me that the stuff they’re eating etc. is actually chocolate ice cream. It all makes much more sense now. I mean, the massive poo that comes out of the woman’s bottom doesn’t look real at all. It is most [...]

How to Go Viral (2G1C)

It’s very difficult for an online video to go viral these days. Here are two ways of doing so:

Deploy various conscious strategies (as explained here: The Secret Strategies Behind Many ‘Viral’ Videos)
Create a video so horrible, disgusting, and unwatchable, that it’s a genuine watercooler moment (as can be seen here: Two Girls One Cup - [...]

Beat Her Womb With Your Giant

While anaj posts pics her brother takes when she’s got no time to write, I think I’m going to start posting some original spam emails. I don’t usually get much spam, but we’re currently recruiting so I had to publicise the related email account on various jobs websites. Thus, since two weeks, I’ve been getting [...]

Masturbated in Public

Don’t be shocked, dear readers.
‘masturbated in public’ is a search term people used today to find my blog. And rightly so - enter ‘masturbated in public’ into Google, and the first result cuming (… up is indeed the blog post where I talked about Jack Tweedy masturbating in public, i.e. in the Big Brother house.
I [...]

London Olympic Games 2012 - the Logo (and its goatse subversion)

I really thought this was a wind-up. This is the new logo for the London Olympic Games 2012:

Apparently, it is in fact the official Olympic logo, and it was unveiled yesterday. What were they thinking?
An animated version of it also causes epileptic fits:

Charity Epilepsy Action said it had received calls from people who suffered fits [...]