How Not to Get a Job

I’m currently doing another round of recruitment (don’t ask me for a job people, unless you are native of either: GE, SP, FR, IT, NL, NO, SE, or DE). It’s really annoying what kind of shit people send in and really think they’re going to be considered for the job.

For instance, I always ask for a cover letter as well as CV, and the cover letter really is crucial. If you have a shit cover letter, I won’t even look at your CV (unless I’m really desperate for people). Here’s a cover letter I got today:

My interest in your company was ignited when I saw the add [sic] on Internet. . Having read your recruitment literature I feel your training will enable me to meet my own personal goals in a dynamic, yet friendly environment.


Ehm…: what recruitment literature? Your own personal goals? A dynamic, yet friendly environment? You’ve come to the wrong fucking place.

and another one, similarly meaningless:


I would like to apply for a position in your company considering my previous experience and education which you can learn about in my c.v.

ehm..: learn about in your CV? I.e. I have to look through your (likely chaotic, poor, and irrelevant to the job) CV to try and understand how your experience matches the job? No fucking chance.

Please take note everyone: The best way to a recruiter’s heart is through a cover letter that is tailored to the actual ad, supported by a strong CV (easy on the eye, succinct, but informative about your experiences and skills).

Applications containing generic cover letters such as the ones above are immediately deleted, and I hope not just by me! Imagine these people sending out their pointless, generic applications to loads of different jobs, then wondering why they don’t hear back.



7 thoughts on “How Not to Get a Job

  1. This reminds me of a letter i had for a person asking for a job at my company (there was not even a job at the time) on reading the letter is made no sence, poor spelling and he could not even spell the TOWN HE LIVED, i of course replied with a “lovely letter” and made sure all the spellings he had spelt wrong. I will just have to wait until next year to get the same letter has he sents it every year, and once i do i will post extracts on my blog.

  2. The thing is, I don’t mind spelling etc. too much but what gets me is the generic short cover letter, which people obviously send out to hundreds of ads.

    I.e. they put in the same application and cover letter for every job, and that really does my head in. My friend Andraco did this initially when looking for new jobs and he learnt his lesson quickly.

    Maybe I should reply to those people and tell them why their application is pointless, I guess that would be nicer than outing their cover letters…

  3. I wonder why recruiters are never honest – I even sometimes ask for a brief feedback when I get a letter of rejection, but they never bother to answer.

    And letters of rejection themselves are something worth being ‘outed’ – as a kind letter of rejection is just as important for a company’s image.

  4. The problem is that there is not enough time. If you get a hundred applications, then all you can do is delete delete delete. Even with 80WPM there simply is no time to respond to everyone.

    In an ideal world, of course, people would be kind and help all applicants – but especially in the case of job applications, I truly believe there is PLENTY of information out there to help people get it right.

    IMHO there is no excuse to get it totally wrong like in the two examples above. If you’re resourceful and know how to use the internet – a CENTRAL requirement for our job – you should not get it wrong. If you don’t know how to apply for a job, go on a course or speak to your job centre advisor. It’s simply not in my JD to give advice and feedback.

    Though I do of course do it for friends, for free (with some success stories 😛 )

  5. I gots all tha’ skillz you be needin’. Gimme that job, ho, and don’t be bitchin’ bout no lame-ass cover letter-bullshit, cuz I ain’t got no time for that.

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