Daily Archives: July 31, 2008

lenina is currently approx. 22 years old

The Golden NotebookImage via Wikipedia

Due to various circumstances I currently feel a HELL of a lot younger than what I in fact physically am. Various elements have triggered some kind of regression (well regression sounds negative, and it’s not negative). The main trigger has been finding out that Amanda Palmer is playing in Edinburgh and digging out her old CD (well the demo tapes that I burned onto CD), and that made me think of my (hot! but fucked up!) BF at the time, David.

Combine that with the fact that I’m getting a tattoo on the 19th, next to the one that both David and I had done (I’ll post a pic of a mock-up soon – it’s on the other computer and YES it is a thistle, but NEITHER of the ones I blogged about a year ago).

The other contributing factor has been reading Doris Lessing’s Golden Notebook and my brain cranking slowly back into gear, also caused by starting a handwritten (w00t) diary again where I write down thoughts occasionally, mostly introspective ones. The great thing is of course that I have this fresh new lenina but combined with a settled, happy lenina (not the fucked up lenina from 12 years ago). Hence, I might be able to put the fresh lenina to good use, without getting self-absorbed and suicidal 😀

We’ll see what happens. I feel quite full of myself at the moment, probably expanding and taking up space. It’s like you nearly burst of happiness, instead of dragging yourself behind, aching.

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