My Mate Has Been Charged with ABH

Last night I received a message on msn, but didn’t respond (and I was tired and about to shut the computer down). My mate J. (22-year-old London geezer/chav) said something like

Hi babe

this morning I got charged with ABH

The thing is, he’s always on msn with his mobile and it takes him ages to type. I should have just phoned him to find out more, but it’s too depressing! I mean I should go down to London and see him some time for a drink (and pick up my Xbox that is still at his mum’s house while I’m at it!), but not now, not yet, and I have no other reason to go down to London any time soon.

I’ve actually been looking for my mate’s pic to post up here (naturally with identity protected), but it’s probably inappropriate anyway. I like J., he’s a good guy and has a good heart, but I really can’t cope with that sort of ‘underworld’ thing of ABfuckingH and such. I mean what’s the point? But I like him! Jesus christ, what to do, what to do  😐

Adventures in Chav-land

In London this week-end my chav friend J. (22) told me that his next tattoo will read:

White and Proud

I asked him why, and which whites are included in this pride thing:

• English? Yes
• German? Yes
• Polish? Noooooooooooooo
• Hungarian? Yes

This doesn’t make sense on two counts:

1. Polish people ARE white
2. How can you be proud of the colour of your skin?

I told him that I’m not going to take him up to Scotland, or indeed be seen with him in public again, if he gets a White and Proud – tattoo.

I don’t mind having this one chav – friend, and I can put up with his self-definitions including violence, drinking/alcoholism, ill-education, sexism, and a general dose of chav-culture.

However, when it comes to White & Proud, my tolerance. absolutely. stops. I will not accept it and I will not be friends with him anymore.

Jeremy Kyle Part II

The Jeremy Kyle show today continued with my chav friend J’s court date regarding the paternity issue with his daughter. He did a DNA test last year, I think in November, but his ex-missus (evil b1tch from h3ll)

• refused to get a DNA sample from her daughter
• didn’t turn up for the court date today

Now we can’t get hold of him. He’s probably getting pissed slaughtered somewhere.

Attack of the Common People

Last night, I was quite aggressively attacked by a common person. I don’t mind common people – I have some common friends and my family is not exactly posh or middle class.

Yesterday, the common person was a drunk, Irish woman. She was probably in her late 20s/ early 30s, extremely pished and extremely desperate for attention, especially from men. I don’t like attention seekers at all, particularly, if the discourse and behaviour engaged in to gain attention is REALLY FUCKING DULL. This pisshead shouted ‘Hackney is a shanty town’ for roughly 15 minutes, while falling over, sitting on men’s laps, and shouting ‘shut up’ (or ‘shut your fucking mouth, you bastard’ etc.) to our little group that had sat quite happily in the garden talking until her arrival.

Now, in a situation where a dull person is seeking attention, I usually keep quiet and observe in the background, until they fuck off. I tend not to show any support (such as spurning the person on by engaging with them, laughing in approval, or smiling/nodding or any other body language). Attention seekers hate that kind of thing. They are desperate for approval as well as disapproval – anything that helps affirm their sorry existence.

The aggressive, threatening verbal attack the common person subjected me to occurred after she asked me for the 5th time what my name was/if I was Polish/worked in a caff (lmfao especially at the last one, ‘Do you work in a caff?’ – I think it was intended as an insult, i.e. the ‘Polish immigrant taking away our jobs blah blah blah, working in a caff low wage taking away our houses/our benefits’, that kind of thing. Unfortunately, many common people seem to have this view).

Anyway, when she asked me these stupid questions for the 5th time, I, after previously always responding in a polite, albeit frosty, manner, said:

“You’ve asked me that 4 times already.”

The person then started shouting at me and verbally abusing me, towering above me in an aggressive, threatening manner (I was sitting on a bench) for about 2-3 minutes while staring down at me in drunk stupor and hatred. I listened to her tirades, looking at her with a blank, motionless face (I hadn’t had a drink – I don’t drink – so I felt 100% rational and alert). I felt pity but didn’t want to say anything – I just didn’t want to engage (her attack was just another attempt at attention seeking – I hadn’t given her any until then and wasn’t going to start now, however desperate or aggressive her behaviour).

The situation was then dissolved by both my BF who asked her to stop, and another party-goer who took her to one side, calmly explaining that her behaviour was unacceptable. So that was that. She then came to ‘kiss and make up’ WTF, and I gave her my best false smile, with a glint of despise in my eyes).

So there. Common people, especially women for some reason, like attacking lenina. I don’t know why. The last time it happened the scenario was similar – a drunk woman, desperately seeking male attention/approval, singing and dancing and generally making a fool of herself. Lenina (alpha-female) quietly sitting there observing, not engaging. That woman not only flirted with all the men (offering herself on a plate, getting her tits out etc.) but also started touching up lenina’s BF, at which point lenina intervened. Naturally.

On a final note, these attacks have all happened in London, and within the last few months. I wonder if I should take up some form of self-defense – not to physically defend myself, but maybe to learn some restraining techniques just to calm this kind of person down.

Jeremy Kyle Show in lenina’s Front Room

Our neighbour chav friend J. today had his ‘court date’. He’s separated from his missus (evil bitch) and she now has removed his access to his daughter, claiming he is ‘not the father’.

He now has to do a DNA test!

It makes me wonder what is behind these people going onto Jeremy Kyle. This is the kind of issue Jeremy Kyle constantly deals with (it’s a circus full of chavs for the general public to look and laugh at, just like the sideshows of the late 19th/early 20th century).

Actually, J. is a real person and I like him very much. It’s difficult marrying this with the portrayal of chavs in the general media (i.e. Jeremy Kyle). I just hope the baby is his (I’m pretty sure it is – tune in in 6 weeks’ time to find out 😐 ).