Mail-order Brides

Playing around with dating sites with the new BF B. (we both like just playing around with online stuff and taking the p1ss) got us talking (or rather, got him mentioning) mail-order brides. Now, I was aware of course that this kind of thing exists and in fact, as a teenager my uncle once got a woman from the Philippines flown in (yes! really…) and me and my sister had to translate letters at the start of their correspondence.

How does it work? The idea is that these ‘brides’ want to get away from the poverty they live in and they need a visa. The men, on the other hand, can’t find a girlfriend in their own country (for various reasons: they may be ugly or shy, or, they may seek more traditionally ‘submissive’ females that tend to all their men’s needs incl. sexual which fortunately are not so common any more in our Western societies).

Thus, mail-order brides will marry the men, come to the Western country, get the Visa, and stay with them for as long as is required (early divorce may result in their losing their status and having to go back). The problem being of course that the men will have considerable power over the woman while they have to remain married. E.g. they can have sex on tap and can get the woman to do all sorts of things (in theory! in practice, of course if the men are interested in the person and get to love them, they should treat them equally if they don’t want her to leave him once she no longer needs him).

Speaking to the BF, I asked whether men would do this sort of thing, i.e. abuse the power they have in these first years, and he said that too right they would.

There again, it is really a market transaction. After all, men have to pay the agency to ‘get’ their bride. They ‘buy’ her as it were, and may incorrectly assume that because of this, the bride has to be docile and his property and in effect, a prostitute. Would I do this sort of thing if I was a woman desperate to get away from my home country?

Yes.

lenina is a Pretty Girl

For some reason, being in a relationship with my new BF is making me all radiant and attractive 😛

I’m not ugly by any means (not at all!), but I am 34 and hence no longer have the ‘beauty of youth’ (which I don’t mind – after all, some people are ugly at all ages and don’t even ever have the ‘beauty of youth’). The point is that I seem to be more attractive to the opposite sex just now. I must be giving off some vibe and his love has magically given me a glow of some sort.

On Halloween night for instance we went out and at one pub (the Standing Order on George Street), I had this guy chatting me up as I was ordering drinks, and wanting to go for a drink with me etc.  I was friendly enough with him (not in a flirty way mind you!). Later on, I was sitting with B. at a table and B. went to get the next round of drinks, and this same guy comes up to me and literally wanted to sit down. I think he may even have had a drink in his hands for me. I had to be quite firm then and said

I’m just waiting for my boyfriend to come back with the drinks!

So the guy got the message. In a different pub later on, another guy whispered something in my ear and eyed me up as he walked by. OK it was Halloween, and people (especially blokes) were probably quite drunk and desperate to get a shag, but still – I seem to currently be quite attractive to the other sex (one guy at my work is lusting after me a bit too hehe). I suppose it’s partly because I am in a relationship – I always find it easier to get on and talk to men, even to ‘flirt’ indirectly (I don’t go out of my way to flirt with men – but it’s easier for me to be friendly with them when I’m coupled up).

Maybe it’s because I’m generally happy as I know that however I am with the opposite sex, there are no intentions behind it whatsoever, not from my part anyway. This in turn makes me more relaxed and open, since I know I have the most GORGEOUS BF and lover to go back to 🙂

So yes, Halloween was a good night, and we even bumped into some of B.’s mates and I had a bit of a banter with them. Yesterday we went to do bits of shopping etc., and today we stayed in bed all day as usual 😛

Nuts and Zoo Turn Women into Fuckpieces

Image via Wikipedia

So says Shadow education secretary, Michael Gove.

While I agree with his point:

Titles such as Nuts and Zoo paint a picture of women as permanently, lasciviously, uncomplicatedly available,

he unfortunately uses it to get his ‘conservative’ message across that promotes the nuclear family:

He will stress the Conservative commitment to measures supporting marriage and the family – including use of the tax system – and suggest the drive to reduce teenage pregnancy should put more emphasis on making young men come to terms with their responsibilities.

Completely ignoring the fact that the nuclear family is just another fucking shackles for women (having to deal with lazy husbands, annoying kids, a dirty house, etc.).

How about:

1. Nuts and Zoo Turn Women into Fuckpieces

2. Women should not bother with men. They should reject the idea of children, or indeed the nuclear family as their main motivation in life

3. Women should focus on their own life and setting up home independently (of men, children, family)

4. If women want anything of men, it’ll be an addition to an otherwise fulfilled life.

I.e. my logic doesn’t exclude men from women’s lives (I like men!), it does however reject them being a projection surface for men as either available fuckpieces, or as mothers to their children/the centre of the nuclear family (= what the conservatives want).

I do think the nuclear family is no better or worse than just being fucked and bringing up your kid as a single mum. There clearly is no good and evil in this equation: teenage pregnancies/single mums = bad for society; nuclear family = good for society.

I just want women to do what they want to do and what they’re capable of, irrespective of any interpellations on the side of society or readers of lad mags 👿

Related articles by Zemanta

• Lad mags ‘linked to social ills’

How Many People You Know Have Killed Themselves?

Today I found out that someone I know in Edinburgh has committed suicide (Latin sui caedere, to kill oneself) because of some ‘custody issue over his child’. I didn’t know him well – he used to share a flat with my friend and was probably in his 40s. I met him a few times and we went out for an open mic night in Edinburgh once. I think none of my readers will know him – andraco maybe.

The only other person I knew who killed himself was a long time ago, back where I grew up. I was around 19/20 when he overdosed on Heroin (intentionally I think). He used to go out with a friend of mine when she was 16 or 17.