For the last 7 months, I thought that someone I knew (on the periphery of ‘knowing’) up here in Edinburgh had killed himself. I even blogged about it here.
Only I found out today that it’s not actually true! It was someone’s sister, who was already disabled (with MS), that had died of natural causes.
How that got turned into a ‘dramatic’ story (guy kills himself over custody of his child) I do not know.
Though by knowing the people involved in creating/passing on this ‘story’, I have a fair idea how it happened.
One year ago today, my PhD Viva (oral exam) took place. I’m trying to recall how the day went, but can’t really remember much at all. All I remember is counting down to it via my blog, and being in a strange mental place (somewhat detached, excited, fully pressurised, elated, a vacuum), and going to Morrisons on the way back to buy some smoked Bavarian cheese.
Roundabout the same time, my good friend A. split up with his missus (actually it was a few weeks after – just after the New Year I think) and, meeting up with him yesterday, here’s some real, solid proof how quickly life can change and turn its tables:
A. one year ago (roughly):
- quite fat (well, big, overweight, but tall. Fat face though 😛 )
- just about to be left by his missus of over 2 years
- stuck in a hateful, despicable, exploitative job (working for Lidl 😐 )
- stuck in a flat he was unlikely to afford much longer / on his own
A. now (roughly):
- quite skinny (thin bordering on junkie)
- in a happy, successful relationship since roughly August
- in a great job with prospects, about to be promoted
- living with his new missus and just bought a house
Thus, what initially looked like a devastating blow, able to fuck up his life and his dreams (missus leaving him), has turned out to be just the thing he needed to move his life on to the next level. A bit like a kick-start, or a punch in the face, that leaves you more beautiful after.
Lessons to be learned:
- bad things aren’t really essentially bad – they can become something really positive, given time
- do not fear devastation
- do not kill yourself
Today I found out that someone I know in Edinburgh has committed suicide (Latin sui caedere, to kill oneself) because of some ‘custody issue over his child’. I didn’t know him well – he used to share a flat with my friend and was probably in his 40s. I met him a few times and we went out for an open mic night in Edinburgh once. I think none of my readers will know him – andraco maybe.
The only other person I knew who killed himself was a long time ago, back where I grew up. I was around 19/20 when he overdosed on Heroin (intentionally I think). He used to go out with a friend of mine when she was 16 or 17.