Turning off the Interface
I’m going to take a break again from blogging. I’m not in fact taking ‘a break’ – I’ll just be using the free time in the mornings towards my story and other offline activities for a while. It’s all part of the move to remove myself from being interfaced.
Whenever I increase my efforts of communication, I end up in a situation where I’m then being talked to. This happened the other day when I responded to an email sent by an old London friend (we go back 15 years). It then turns into a ‘dialogue’ with a follow-up email if I don’t respond to a couple of points. That’s why I uninstalled Skype, msn, deactivated Facebook etc. - I just don’t like being interfaced.
Luckily, my BF is the same. The ideal scenario for us is to just be recluses and do things together or separately (him on the Xbox 360, me reading The Guardian or pottering), without anyone else involved other than the cat 
As for the writing – I have started my story. Once it’s done, I will discuss next steps on here. I’m sure I’ll also be back with my plans for 2010, seeing that ‘09 is nearly over. I have a feeling 2010 will be important – certainly some key things must happen. Life is not a dress rehearsal.
Word Count for my Short Story
I’ve got my hands on the latest edition of the magazine I’m aiming to send my short story to. While I hadn’t previously known whether or not it published fiction, this time round it has a short story in it (2 pages). Great!
This means that the idea of sending it there has turned a bit more real. Word count of the short story is around the 1,500 mark, which means that’s roughly what I’ll be aiming for. The next step is to actually start writing it. I should be in a position where I have my bureau back tonight or tomorrow – currently still sanding a final bit of built-in wardrobe in my writer’s room, resulting in dust and dirt all over the place and no furniture in a fit position to be used.
Alternatively, I could try typing on this computer here while the other room is still in chaos. It’s worth a try – though against my initial idea of handwriting. There again, I may just be romanticising my hands and this imagined sensual, more authentic process .
I’ll see what happens. It would make sense to utilise the occasional morning I devote to this blog to the story instead.
One week off is not enough
Today is the last day of my ‘week off’ from work, and it hasn’t been enough (at all! at fucking all!) to do everything that I had planned to do:
- lying on the bed reading
- writing the short story
- decorating my writer’s room
The above three items were only the ‘core activities’ I wanted to do, alongside other more holiday-type enjoyable ones such as:
- going to see Tilda Swinton featured in the ‘Famous Scots’ exhibition currently on at ScotlandsPeople Centre in Edinburgh
- walking into town checking out charity shops (especially in ‘posher areas’ e.g. Morningside)
- COOKING a few warm meals (during the working week, I tend to eat only sandwiches as I have no time or energy to cook)
- just being idle with no need to do anything at all
From the ‘core activities’, I’ve managed to do a smidgeon of (1) – not more than usual to be honest; only one morning spent on (2); and painting 2x chairs and 1x door of (3) – the rest of decorating will be done once I finish this.
From the ‘added activities’, I’ve only managed to do (3) ONCE (last night), and as for (2), on the first day (Monday) I went to all the charity shops in Leith, but that’s it.
I’m clearly one of the people who would not run out of things to do if they were without a regular 9-5 job. It would take at least 6 months to tackle the backlog of projects that have accumulated over the years (I’m still to create a couple of music videos from rehearsal room footage of my old band from about 8 years or so ago!). In fact, yesterday I had another idea for a project which I should write down into my scrap book, lest I forget.
And for those who know Deutschpunk, here are some lyrics of a song that I’ve been enjoying while decorating. It’s good to know that listening to this kind of stuff when I was younger has had a greater influence on me than I probably realised at the time 
Wenn ich nach Hause komme, sitzt da ein alter Typ
Er sagt, er wär’ mein Vater, und ich glaub’ auch, daß er’s ist
Wir sehen uns nur manchmal, und dann reden wir nicht viel
Doch wenn wir reden, sagt er: “Junge, aus dir wird mal nicht viel
Alles, was du anfängst, hörst du gleich wieder auf
Du kannst doch nie ‘ne Familie ernähren, und du kriegst auch keine Frau
Du mußt arbeiten, du mußt schuften so wie ich”
Aber ich will nicht werden, was mein Alter ist, nee
Ich will nicht werden, was mein Alter ist
Ich möchte aufhör’n und pfeifen auf das Geld
Ich weiß, wenn das so weitergeht, bin ich fertig mit der Welt
Arbeit macht das Leben süß, so süß wie Maschinenöl
Ich mach den ganzen Tag nur Sachen, die ich gar nicht machen will
Ich möchte gern mal meinem Chef die Möbel geradezieh’n
Doch ich krieg die Faust nicht aus der Tasche, ich weiß nicht mehr, was ich will
Ich möchte am liebsten abhau’n, wenn’s zuhause wieder kracht
Ich warte jeden Montagmorgen schon auf Freitagnacht
Aber ich will nicht werden, was mein Alter ist, nee
Ich will nicht werden, was mein Alter ist
Ich möchte aufhör’n und pfeifen auf das Geld
Ich weiß, wenn das so weitergeht, bin ich fertig mit der Welt
Writers’ Tools – The Writing Desk (Bureau)
The other day, I very nearly put my beautiful Stag mahogany writing desk onto ebay, in order to make some quick cash. I figured at the time that I would only be writing on a computer anyway, and that the bureau was going to take up valuable space in what I’m currently transforming into my writing room.
How sinfully wrong to think that way! Luckily, due partly to comments on this blog (the value of writing by hand, rather than typing), combined with the realisation of the value and beauty of my desk, made me pull the plug in the middle of listing the item.
~~~
Yesterday, I made a start on my short story, on the bureau. Not the actual story itself, but characterisation, plot, and any other pre-writing thoughts (incidentally, the process triggered another idea, to do with old photographs and nothing related to writing – but it goes to show that the mind, when actively engaged in creative pursuits, is ‘liberated’ or freed to expand and spark).
I’m not sure how far I’ll get with my story this week. I have various ‘admin-type’ things to do – stuff that you don’t have time for while you’re working, and which therefore takes up much of your holiday or any other ‘time off’! Another illustration of the ludicrous pointlessness of working full-time.
Earning money while writing: Becoming a freelancer
A second, very real possibility to generating income while writing is to become a freelancer. I’ve dabbled in freelancing and working on multiple projects for different companies, and have good experience of organising my own time from doing my PhD.
The more practical question is: what areas would I want to freelance in? Here are a few ideas.
- Tourist Guide in Scotland: The next round of application to become a ‘Blue Badge’ guide (= accredited qualification to become a tourist guide) is on just now, with the 2-year-course starting in spring 2010. I know people who guide and the job is well paid – plus, you get to travel all over Scotland, with meals and accommodation paid for! The only snag is that the course is very expensive (over £5,000) and labour-intensive (I would have to sacrifice most of my week-ends)
- elancing: The site (google ‘elance’ – I no longer provide links from my blog hehe) unites people offering online freelance work with those seeking it. It’s a bit of a hassle, since most are short-term projects and you have to submit proposals, likely competing against many others wanting the same job. On the positive side, I do have qualifications to shout about, and a very good track record working online from home in various different jobs – so at least I should be in with a half decent chance
- Female driving instructor: The thought crossed my mind that another way of picking up regular money (and more reliable than elancing) would be to qualify as a female driving instructor. There might well be demand for it – women who want to be taught by another woman, or men who are more comfortable with a ’soft, friendly, feminine approach’ to teaching (which they won’t get from me – I’m a hard bitch hehehe).
I’d see my potential income coming from a variety of sources, not just one, that can be combined as and when (e.g. the guiding likely to be full on during the summer season, with less interest during the autumn/winter).
Unfortunately I won’t be able to quit my full-time job until I’ve sold my house in Italy – which requires a steady, considerable source of income to pay the mortgage (and for another 10 years, if I don’t manage to sell).
Practical tip no.2: Software for Writers
In the olden days, I used to handwrite into an A4 – exercise book from school. I eventually bought an Olympus typewriter – very analogue but at the time the only mechanical device I could afford (computers were still fairly expensive in 1995! Difficult to imagine today).
This didn’t hinder my writing. There is in fact a great advantage to be had from handwriting into notebooks: they can be taken anywhere and serve as an ad-hoc surface for noting down thoughts.
Writing on a computer has never had the same appeal to either of the above methods. Word processing software connotes 9-5 office work, and was seemingly invented to draft dull pieces of efficient communication meant to generate specific responses. Opening Word, it places me by default into this context.
Hence, I’ve been looking for writing software. I remembered that a few years ago, my friend Maciej pointed me towards Writer’s Cafe, a
powerful but simple to use story development tool that dramatically accelerates the creation and structuring of your novel or screenplay.
I searched for it again and downloaded it a few days ago. I’ll use it (for the first time) next week when I’ll be on annual leave for a week. I want to write (= start and complete) this first, new story, about my former downstairs neighbour and her partner, the wife beater.
The Best Use of Life
The other day, I got an analysis of my predicted pension through (I work in the public sector). I found out that, if I continue working until the age of 65, I’ll be entitled to approx. £13,000 a year (before tax) for the remaining years of my life (after 65).
My life, following along this relatively safe path, would look as follows:
- work in same or similar job for another 30 years (I have no career ambitions – the higher you get, the more you need to suck up = not me. I’m a rebel.)
- giving most of my life away to someone that is not me
- then, at 65 (knackered out from bullshitting and submitting to cunts), I’d probably turn into an alcoholic, having been brainwashed into thinking that work = my identity, the meaning of life
- and the money I’d be getting for my wasted life: £13,000 p.a. BEFORE TAX
Seeing a potential life path laid out so clearly in front of me only solidified my thinking that I’ve got to get out, sooner rather than later. What a potential waste of life I could lead, only to be finally free at 65, with little money in my pocket and all spirits beaten out of me!
With a little luck, I’ll be out next year (fuck pensions, fuck security, fuck the credit crunch).
Source material for my first story
For my first story, which I will start over the next few days, I will use the relationship of the woman that used to live downstairs as source material. These are the pieces of her life, while she was living below me:
- He shouted at her a fair bit. He beat her up occasionally, to the point where it got pretty bad and she fled the house (moving out within a few hours one day, without telling him where she went, so as to escape. She even left the cat when it didn’t come immediately when she called it – left it straying outside, asking the neighbours to look after it).
- I found out later that he was back in her life, and her new flat – she had let him back in.
- Her 12-year-old daughter still wets the bed.
I think I can use the above material (hopefully) without offending anyone, since the woman moved away over a year ago and the above events are in the past. I wouldn’t want to write about events of the week-end, or the time a couple of months ago when a neighbour across wielded a knife while drunk and was taken to the police station, to spend a night in jail.
I’ll need to think about the tone of voice, and how to narrate – from whose point of view. It could be either from my POV as observer, or the daughter’s point of view (who wets the bed), or, maybe, from the abuser’s POV. The latter might be the most interesting, even though I know the least about it. That might be a good challenge however, and a useful means to create in fiction I know nothing about.
Starting to write now
My gorgeous boyfriend asked at the week-end how the writing was going (meaning: my plans to become a writer). He suggested that I start now, rather than just preparing for some time in the future, and gave a concrete example of a local magazine I could submit a short story to.
He has a point. It’s all well and good reiterating the desire in theory (as I do on here), but would be even better if complemented by actual creative activity. The exhilaration I feel when completing a piece is unique and will provide much needed air to the embers. It’ll also help refining my voice – 9 years ago, I was writing mostly in German, drawing on experiences of my youth and immediate past. This time, it’ll all be in English – and I have plenty of material outside my front door, waiting to be turned into fiction.
Only yesterday, a drunk neighbour fell down the stone stairs and lay with a head wound.
Earning money while writing: Switching to part-time work
Monday’s day trip into the Western Highland has brought about a stimulus different to the one originally anticipated. The weather was rather wild (rainy, misty), generating immense enjoyment from sitting in the bus, immobile, with time for reflection.
I thought about the reality and practicalities of earning money while writing, analysing my current set-up of paid employment and the possibilities within this current job. For instance, I could in theory ask to work part-time (3 days a week) – but in the current set-up, this would very likely not be granted due to a colleague having just gone on maternity leave (she’s a part-timer at 2 days / week). We’ve employed someone as maternity cover in the meantime.
I could use this colleague’s coming back in a year’s time strategically – asking to work part-time, with a simultaneous proposal of how this could work: I’d give over my 2 days to the maternity cover or returning colleague, thus enabling a smooth transition with no gaps.
There is potential, then, in my current job to support my becoming a writer, in just over a year’s time. It won’t be easy and I need to be very strategic about it – my work is quite specific – but the opportunity will be there. If I make a strong enough ‘business case’, I will be able to drop 2 days of my working week, enabling me to earn enough money to survive while freeing up time to do what I have to do.
